brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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