whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
