I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
