It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
