the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
