He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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