I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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