Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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