My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
