i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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