i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize