You're so nebulous sometimes
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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