i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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