____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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