so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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