Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
