Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
