I want to stick my p in your. b.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
