If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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