no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
