I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I smell like Dick and happiness
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