True but thats because hes a fetus.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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