I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
