You're completely useless in the revolution.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize