I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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