I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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