I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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