last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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