First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
