I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
