Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
