Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
