So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
