I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
