I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
