All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
