Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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