i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
