did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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