im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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