It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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