Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
