i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
