Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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