you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
