i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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