I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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