She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
