Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
