When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
