Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
