the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
