dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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