Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
