seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
