I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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