I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
