he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
