My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
