Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
how drunk are you?
Several
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
