Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The feeling are messing with the penis
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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