Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
