I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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